La Vida Veeta

Hey y’all- so this blog post is going to be a bit different than the ones I’ve posted in the past. When I started this blog, I wanted it to be an outlet for whatever I was feeling. A creative outlet, you could say. As is evidenced, most of the time my inner thoughts tend to be on the unhinged, deranged, gay, funny (I hope?) and generally mentally unwell side. As of late though, that hasn’t felt very sincere to me. As some of you already know, in March my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 squamous cell carcinoma. She’s been quite sick for a while, and after several months of going back and forth with medical providers (I could rant at length about how fucked up our medical system is and how they continue to discredit and minimize pain that women experience) they finally were able to diagnose the (main) problem. I can’t really express how fucked up it is to see someone who means the entire world to you go through something as painful and dehumanizing as advanced cancer. For anyone who has met my mom, you know what an absolutely unstoppable force of joy, creativity and love she is in this world. For anyone who hasn’t met her- you also know this because I am literally incapable of shutting the fuck up about how much I love her. The words “icon” and “legend” get thrown around so flippantly these days but let me tell you- my mom embodies both of those words in the fullest. She defined those words. Since I was a nugget, her (and my dad- shoutout to my amazing dad) instilled so much self love in us. They supported whatever ventures we (my brother and I) wanted to pursue. They never told us we couldn’t handle something, or that we weren’t able to do something we didn’t commit ourselves to, or that we weren’t capable of achieving our dreams. For god’s sake, my mom trusted me to put her in drag MULTIPLE TIMES. We even have an amazing photoshoot to prove it (pic below) (shoutout Tré for the amazing pics!)

I say all of this to say that for the last month, my mind has been thinking about my mom, and only about my mom. My brother and I have been staying with them for the past few weeks (and will be for some time) to help with caretaking and frankly, nothing else has mattered to me. A lot of time has been spent reminiscing, watching old family videos, sharing stories, and talking a LOT of shit about a lot of people (mostly the Trump administration cause….duh). Through talking with my mom about some of our favorite memories and stories (including some spiiiiiicy stories of my mom in her past life as a party girl like lemme tell you Candy has some LORE) it’s become clear that regardless of what shit might be happening in the world, circumstances should never dull your shine. Through all of this, my mom has kept her sharp wit, her sense of humor, and her unstoppable heart. We’ve plucked our eyebrows together, and done the crosswords together, and retained just a litttttle bit of vanity (because truly, who ever wants to look a mess? Not my mom, that’s for damn sure). That feeling is what inspired me to share this post today. To keep telling our stories, and sharing the beauty of the world around us. And let me tell you, Vietnam has lore and beauty like no other.

While there is so much that can be said about Đà Nẵng and the central coast of Vietnam, I’ll keep it concise. Đà Nẵng is Vietnam’s fourth largest city and is a rapidly growing, beach-side metropolis (think like, Miami and Dubai had a baby and that baby dropped acid). It hosts sweeping sandy beaches on the South China Sea and rugged, rocky mountains along the Sơn Trà peninsula. A massive statue of the Lady Buddha (who protects the oceans and those who traverse them) looks out over the bay from a dramatic vantage point on the peninsula. Along the Han River, neon skyscrapers in a kaleidoscope of colors paint a futuristic vision while the Cầu Rồng (or Dragon Bridge) snakes across the river like a living piece of architecture.

Situated about 15 miles south of Đà Nẵng (between it and Hội An- which I’ll cover in another post here soon (hopefully)) lies Ngũ Hành Sơn (the Marble Mountains). Consisting of a series of steep limestone rock outcroppings which rise dramatically from the surrounding plain, the mountains have acted as sanctuaries for generations of residents as the surrounding land changed hands between multiple empires. Built into the mountains are a series of temples- some hugging their steep sides, some sculpted from caverns within the mountains themselves. While the pathways are steep, narrow, and quite precarious- the views are undeniably worth the danger.

30 miles west of the city, perched high amongst the dramatic peaks of the Bà Nà Hills lies the most insane, extravagant, gawdy amusement park/tourist trap/monument to Instagram-worthy pics I’ve ever seen: the Bà Nà Hills Park. After taking a cable car up several thousand feet (literally through the clouds) you emerge at the top of the mountain. There amongst multiple peaks lie several roller coasters, arcades, dining halls, shopping areas, a replica European village, sculpture gardens, Buddist temples, and ornamental botanical gardens plucked straight out of Beauty and the Beast. The undisputed pinnacle, however, is the Golden Bridge. Consisting of a bridge perched atop two massive sculpted hands jutting from the sheer rock face of the mountain, the Golden Bridge is awe-inspiring, highly photographed, and slightly terrifying? The whole place has a surreal feeling to it. Floating above a sea of clouds, bathed in golden late-afternoon light while flocks of tourist jockey for the best selfie with their selfie sticks felt simultaneously heavenly and hellish. That being said, nothing compares to the peace, tranquility, and ethereal beauty of Bà Nà’s Chùa Linh Ứng (Buddhist temple) complex. Built into the steep hillside, the complex consists of several stone stairways accented with statues, pagodas and elaborate plantings leading down to a central temple. The temple (like so many others in Vietnam) is so architecturally ornate and detailed that as someone from a copy-paste suburban Sun Belt US city it’s really hard to comprehend the degree of craftsmanship. We arrived at sunset: as the sun slowly descended and the clouds transitioned from white, to gold, to deep indigo, a single gong rang out rhythmically from the temple. The sounds of the amusement park completely fell away. Staring out over the clouds listening to the gong, one couldn’t help but feel a profound peace. With oneself. With the reality- fucked up and beautiful- of the world. With everything. All I remember thinking is: I wish my mom could be here to see this with me.

Reflecting on Vietnam, I can only sum up my feelings in one word: gratitude. Grateful to be able to visit somewhere so magical. Grateful to be able to access and be present in such beautiful locations within said country. Grateful to have a camera as a way to interact with the world and the beauty it possesses. Grateful for my friends and family, who help me in realizing my dreams. Grateful for my mom, who has always encouraged me to follow the things that bring me joy.

As I wrap up this post I just want to stress- love on the people who love you. Be vulnerable with them. Be supportive of them. Share stories with them, and make each other laugh. Enjoy this world that we’re so lucky to be a part of. Oh, and don’t be an asshole.

P.S: this mix I put together are some songs that make me think of my mom. You could say they’re quintessentially Candy. I hope you enjoy!

Đà Nẵng and Bà Nà Hills, Việt Nam- February 2026