Y’all I have something to confess. It’s a big deal. Like, a BIG big deal. I’m not sure exactly how to go about it, so I’m just gonna blurt it out.
………
I’m………GAY
….can you imagine if that was the whole post??? Lmao nah I would never troll you all that hard. But!! It is officially that extra gay time of year- PRIDE. Ever since taking a step back from performing in 2023, I admittedly haven’t been super involved with Pride events. After so many years being outside in the baking heat in a full face of makeup sweatin’ like a pig at the slaughterhouse while being surrounded by a sea of twinks screaming BRAT SUMMER- it kinda loses its appeal. Maybe I’m maturing? Maybe I’m just becoming a boomer? It could also, potentially, just be Maybelline. But what I can tell you for sure is that this year is different. Maybe it’s the fascism, maybe it’s me moving to Milwaukee, maybe it’s a bit of everything. But I want to be GAY this June. And what screams GUHGUHGUHGAY more than a new page on the blog dedicated to nothing but?? I welcome you to Homersexuality: your hub for all things homo.
From this point forward I’ll be peppering in blog posts when the vibes feel right highlighting some of my favorite moments as a drag queen. Over the years there were some really fucking fun looks, photoshoots, music videos, performances, backstage stories, and just general good times- and fortunately many of them were documented! Consider it a really ✨fab✨ addition to your regularly scheduled programming.
I want to dedicate this inaugural post to the final months of Vel’s career. Buckle up, cause things are about to get real for a sec.
In fall of 2022, I was burnt. the fuck. out. Working a full time, dead-end job at a place I really did not give a single fuck about, in an industry I really did not give a SINGLE fuck about (and now actively despise- fuck you tech) was soul crushing. Quick record scratch moment- I would like to specifically call out that at this job, although the work itself and environment was soul crushing, I made some INCREDIBLE friends. Shout out to my hoggiez – you know who you are 😉. On top of this, I was hosting a drag karaoke once a week, a very successful drag brunch once a month, and guest spotting in numerous shows around Seattle. On top of this, I really do not think people have the slightest idea how much fucking backend work goes into this craft. I styled (most of) my wigs. I made (most of) my outfits. From scratch. I put my entire puss into all of my performances, including making my own mixes, choreography, and props. On the show producer side- I worked logistics with venues, who oftentimes did NOT want to pay a fair rate (shoutout to the ones who did and did it ON TIME). I put together lineups, and coordinated music with the DJ. I crafted audience interaction activities. I did (admittedly very basic) tech support when things (inevitably) wouldn’t work properly. I dealt with packed rooms full of drunk people who did NOT understand the concept of boundaries, let alone boundaries with queer people, let alone boundaries with queer performers (the number of times people just thought it was ok to put their hands on my ass…..I cannot). There were legitimately very dangerous situations, including the time someone literally threatened to shoot up the club we were performing at. But it was fucking WORTH IT. ALL OF IT. Because drag was my life force. I worked the soul crushing job and danced in the ankle-busting heels and put (probably very) toxic adhesives on my face because drag lit my soul on fire in a way that I can’t begin to describe. I loved, and will always love, drag so. fucking. much.
But, there comes a time where you feel as though you’re at a crossroads. I felt like I had been running on fumes for months. I wasn’t saving any money. The constant aches and pains and blisters and bunions and broken nails and raw face skin really take a toll after a while. And I haven’t even started talking about the drama in the community! As an aside: I’m not gonna spill all the tea here (because I mean- where’s the fun in blowing your load on the first post???) but just know that the lore runs deep, dark, and MESSY. I woke up one morning realizing that the scales were no longer balanced, and all of these things were costing me more joy than it was creating. And that, my friends, is called an epiphany. And listen to this gay elder (yes- I am a gay elder at 32….sad as that is): When one experiences an epiphany, one must listen. I do not regret my decision to step back from drag for one motherlovin’ millisecond. I’ve rediscovered so many passions and loves that I put on the backburner for a long time (photography hellur??) I’ve started going to the gym, very regularly, and have lost weight (and gained so much energy). I’m eating healthier. I’m reading. I’m going on walks. I’m (ironically) getting more involved in the community through mutual aid groups and volunteer organizations. I’m GOING TO GRAD SCHOOL. It truly feels like a new chapter has started in my life and I feel so much hope and motivation and excitement for what’s to come (except, of course, for *gestures wildly around* the FASCISM).
All of that being said- Matt IS Vel. Vel IS Matt. That will never change. I will always love drag, and after spending some time away from it’s most toxic aspects, I feel better prepared as a human to engage in it the way that I want to. At it’s core- sharing my art with you all. I also want to acknowledge something I really fucked up- I have been absolutely guilty of being a complete ghost to the Seattle scene in the last 2 years. I have not been supportive the way that I should. I have not been going to shows, or checking in regularly on folks, and that honestly isn’t ok. Through figuring my own shit out, I neglected to keep up with the community who supported me and helped Vel discover Vel. All we can do is learn from our mistakes, act accordingly, and MOM AND DAD STOP READING HERE offer to have you all kick and spit on me if you want to (ok that bit might just be my kink showing hehehehe). OK MOM AND DAD IT IS SAFE TO READ AGAIN.
Phew- thanks for bearing with me while I got all that off my chest. It feels really cathartic to type this out and share it with you all. And now- onto the FUN STUFF. Although the last few months of Vel’s regular career was tough for Matt, I have to toot my own horn for a sec and say the looks I rocked were fuckin’ slaytinaaaaaa. Please enjoy the lil carousel of content below, showing some of the juiciest, ripest, choice bits Vel had to offer in fall 2022 (to a soundtrack of Sade- of COURSE).
In summary- I’m so grateful for y’all. You have helped keep me safe, sane, grounded, and happy. Thank you for helping make Vel possible. Thank you for helping make MATT possible. I’m really excited for this next life journey while also making sure to take time to reflect on some of my happiest memories with you all.
Be sure to ENJOY YOURSELF this pride month. Be safe. Drink lots of water. Be on the lookout for cops, ICE, Proud Boys (which also lets be real is kiiiiinda the gayest name ever??) and other groups looking to cause harm and sow discord. Look out for EACH OTHER. Pay queer artists. Tip drag performers. Protect trans people. Drink MORE WATER. Then maybe do a shot of tequila 😉
Un beso de queso,
- Vel/Matt 🧀
La Vida Veeta 