La Vida Veeta

Y’all remember that song, right? I’m in Miami Bitch? That shit was awful. What a deeply, deeply traumatizing era for us all. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this mix more than that. Enjoy the post 🧡

Did you know that Tom Cruise has sex with fish? I know it sounds crazy (and it is) but hear me out. There are multiple stories over the years and across the world of Mr. Mission Impossible himself buying single, unwrapped fish at the store and…disappearing….with them into the bathroom. Then remerging several minutes later sans fish. Sure, maybe he’s just sucking it’s life force out like a dementor to stay young.  Maybe he plays Mambo Number 5 on his phone and makes the fish lip sync to it in the bathroom mirror. But who are we kidding- we all know what he’s doing. Let’s be real- it’s not even the fish part that’s the worst. It’s the grocery store bathroom part???! Like you’re gonna get your knob slobbed on by a sea bass while Natasha Bedingfield plays over the speakers and the overwhelming smell of dollar store urinal cake slaps you in the face?? Obviously everything about this is absolutely vile but like- what else would we expect from Mr. Tom? Mr. “I’m a 3 foot tall scientologist who was abusive to Katie Holmes and is perpetually oily and probably hooks up with Jon Travolta in between the “alleged” fish in the Trader Joe’s bathroom stall??” As Jasmine Masters says: TRASH. (I would like to make a statement now that this is all ALLEGED and in jest and not serious because I don’t want the Church of Scientology to Shelly Miscavige my ass hehehe plz don’t come for me!)

Before I get too wrapped up in Tom and his new gillfriend (haha GET IT) I wanna talk about this amazing new city I’ve found myself in- MILWAUKEE! Partially perched above bluffs overlooking Lake Michigan, partially wrapped in an embrace by the Milwaukee River, Milwaukee gets a real bad rap. And honestly, its bullshit (at least from my extensive experience of being here for almost a month (holy shit that’s crazy to say out loud it’s already almost a month???)) This city has such an incredible history and has been through so many eras. Consider Bronzeville, which was the center for Milwaukee’s black population and had a large concentration of jazz clubs back in the first half of the 20th Century (and then promptly razed to make way for freeways and “UrBaN rEnEwAl” projects. God we as white people fucking suck). There’s the brewing legacy, including being the home (over the decades) for several of America’s largest beer brands (think Miller and Pabst). There’s the Harley Davidson of it all?? There’s the huge wave of Polish immigration in the early 1900’s and the creation of the Polish Flat (this was something new I learned! Basically- when Polish immigrants started coming here, they would bring their families to live in the same home, and many Polish families were quite large. They would build a house, and then as more of their family members came, to fit them in the same home they would simply lift up the first floor and build a second floor underneath it. The legacy of this are whole neighborhoods of houses with architecturally distinct first and second floors, as building materials, techniques, etc. were oftentimes quite different between the two times the house would be built). There was the removal of portions of one of Milwaukee’s downtown freeway in the late 90’s and early 2000’s, and the serious push to remove larger segments now (which would be uhmayyyyzing??) This city has been through so much, good and bad. Unfortunately, due to some really shit urban planning practices the city now bears huge scars from its past- physical, economic, and metaphorical. Racial segregation is extreme. The city’s budget is anemic, population growth is negative, and the city’s public school system is in shambles. That being said, I have never felt more inspired by a city’s residents. Everyone I have met from here is so proud to be a Milwaukeean, and I can see why. This place is resilient as fuck. There are so many amazing ideas that are ACTUALLY BEING ACTED UPON that are giving people hope. There are bowling alleys! Everywhere! (what else do you need?) I know I’ve just barely stuck my proverbial toes in the proverbial waters of this place, but honey let me tell you the proverbial water feels proverbially great because I’m so proverbially ready to proverbially dive in. That being said- ask me in March if I feel the same way. If I’m still alive, and not frozen and stuck to the sidewalk outside my apartment like Jack Nicholson at the end of The Shining. I just might be.

I’m also so inspired by the architecture and the nature here. When you think of Milwaukee, the first thing that comes to your mind probably isn’t amazing public green spaces, but lemme tell you, they abound. Running through the north side of town is the Milwaukee River Greenway, a network of parks connected by open natural space along the river. There is so much wildlife, including your run of the mill squirrels, chipmunks, robins and crows. But there’s fish aplenty (including a bunch of folks who are out there fishing on the reg- just keep Tom away 😉). There’s tons of amazing waterfowl, including great blue herons (picture evidence included in gallery below). There are also snapping turtles???!! (I did not personally see one, but a classmate of mine works for the Milwaukee Parks Department and showed me a picture he took of a turtle at the river days before. I now plan on camping out there 24/7 until I find one and bringing it home with me. Just in case y’all didn’t already know- I FUCKING LOVE TURTLES). There’s so much amazing fungi, including the most beautiful blankets of bracket fungi covering tree trunks I’ve ever seen (picture also included in gallery below). There are ash trees, and maples, and oaks, and chestnuts, and sycamores. There are flowers aplenty (including beautiful blankets of my new favorite native flower jewelweed, which have the cutest, brightest little orange flowers). And yet there is still so so so much more to explore (which is the fun! I get to learn about all the lil planties that call Southeast Wisconsin home now).

There’s also the network of beaches along Lake Michigan! My personal fave so far is Atwater Beach- this gorgeous little sandy stretch of happiness at the bottom of some steep bluffs right around the corner from my apartment. When the weather is nice, I’ve been going there to disassociate, smoke some weed and read. It’s much needed right now lemme tell you. In addition, there’s Bradford Beach (think the beach where all the 20-somethings go and blast Sza and Billie Eilish and whatever else is cool right now and play volleyball and chug BuzzBalls and wear their Brat Summer acid green shirts and 90’s sunglasses or whatever the kids do nowadays) and McKinley Park (a stretch of green right along the water bordered by the marina, downtown, and a totally normal, not at all extra AF massive 1870’s gothic water tower. Cause why not right??) It’s awesome having a pseudo-ocean next door that you can pop down to to clear your mind whenever you want to -or whenever the absolute nuthouse bullshit that is every day of 2025 forces you to.

And the architecture? Honnnneyyyy when I tell you the buildings are building-ing hard here, I mean it. You have so many styles including Gothic, Victorian, Prairie (think Frank Lloyd Wright), Art Deco, Art Nouveau, Italianate, Neoclassical- and that’s just to name a few. A lot of buildings here are built with a beautiful red stone that I never saw used in Seattle; it gives a warmth and richness that must be welcome in the bleak winters. And the best part is that the best is yet to come! Which is crazy, because I’m already coming! (I am so sorry mom and dad please erase this last paragraph from your memory).

So anyways, I just wanted to provide this preliminary view into this beautiful place because trust, there will be WAY more photos once the fall foliage starts doing its thang. In summary: I’m doing well. Milwaukee’s awesome. Summer here is beautiful. Tom Cruise fucks fish (don’t worry that’s not a video link, just a link to potential receipts).

P.S- just wanted to revisit the reference to LMFAO. I forgot about them until that song randomly popped in my head. I wish it hadn’t. LMFAO was fucking weird. What a time to be alive. Here’s a reminder of how weird the whole moment was (especially when you remember that they’re nephew and uncle???? So weird). Anyways- BYE!!

Milwaukee- Summer 2025