La Vida Veeta

Y’all know Avril Lavigne was cloned, right? It’s well known that she died in 2003 and was replaced by Melissa Vandella. There is so much evidence. You think I’m making this up? Check out the indisputable proof here. I think she knew too much. Maybe she had dirt on Canadian higher ups? Maybe she knew the nuclear codes? I’m just not sure….either way, it explains why she married the Nickelback frontman in 2012 bc the Avril I KNOW would never.

Anyways- RIP Avril Lavigne, we will always love you. And fuck you MELISSA.

So now that I have that out of the way- hi everyone!!! I hope you have all been enjoying this most blessed beginning of May as much as I am. May has always been my favorite time of year. It’s Taurus season (arguably the best season of the year but I might be just a tad biased), the weather is brightening up, nature has come alive and we also celebrate Cher’s birthday! Although everything is still a flaming heap of garbage right now, I can’t help but feel a flutter of elation in my heart knowing that Seattle is out of the great darkness. Maybe it’s just arrhythmia? Or maybe it’s joy☺

Either way- I hope you’re also feeling the arrhythmia/joy. Please soak up the sun (cue Sheryl Crow) and also these weekly suggestions for the Sunday Slice. MUAH 💋

Remember everyone: do things that make you happy. Go on a walk. Blast your favorite music. Eat that slice of cake (also share some with me cause bitch why the hell not??) In the words of Saint Jasmine Masters:

“I’m ready to talk some shit, smoke some weed, eat some food, make some coin, and love all my friends”

Also below is a side by side image showing Avril Lavigne and Melissa Vandella. I’m not telling you what to think, but how about you come to your own conclusions 👀🔍🤔 (Click and drag the bar side to side to compare images).

Love you all!! Un beso de queso muy fuerte 🧡

• Matt/Matteo/Mattimeo/Mattias/Bitch